Your guide to all the worst people you meet at car shows


Artwork by Pete SucheskiCar and driver

From the June 2022 issue of Car and driver.

Hey, you over there, can you stop revving your engine? We’re trying to suggest an LS trade on this lady, and you’re drowning us. She doesn’t seem into it, but maybe she can’t hear us.

Auto show season is in full swing and it’s time to remember how to behave. Some things are a matter of taste: Hood open? Hood closed? It’s between you and your canister of engine degreaser. But the loudmouths, the bad parkers, and the guy whose burnout gets the whole show banned, don’t be that person. Also, those crying dolls? Very strange.

Listen, we’re not the car show police, but if you want to be invited, here are a few things to keep in mind when you’re back next to a Lamborghini Countach and a boot Pinto wagon.

1 of 9

  • Don’t like the car? Fine, but keep it to yourself until you’re within earshot.
  • Stay home, snobs. You already have the Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance.

2 of 9

  • Hand-off and bump. Don’t touch someone’s car without asking.
  • Skateboarding is not a crime, but if this board bumps my PACER. . .

3 of 9

  • It’s not a table. Keep your thermos out of the wing.

4 of 9

  • Um, your dog is peeing on my tire.

5 of 9

  • We love V-8s, but no, we don’t want to hear it on Redline for 10 minutes.

6 of 9

  • Your Dua Lipa mix at Full Blast doesn’t look as good as you think layering over the beach boys coming from that ’57 Chevy.

seven of 9

  • Those creepy dolls! They don’t have faces! Why don’t they have faces?

8 of 9

  • Smokers are jokes, especially those who burn rubber near others.

9 of 9

  • Once again, in case you can’t hear the turns and burnouts: no touch.

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